Today is August 24th and I am worn out, besides having five lesions on my liver full of melanoma, my treatment being postponed until next week (second postponement)... My poor little 7 month old chocolate lab, Hullby was hit by a car two days ago and almost dies, he is by my feet as I work from my kitchen today, lampshade on his head, cast on one paw, two paws all bandaged up from the stitches and really CRANKY, I tell him time and time again HOW I know how he feels.

So after I got my six year old off to school, washed some dishes, watched my husband become cranky as it was his night to sleep with our little wounded pup... needless to say he is off to the vet for heavy duty narcotics for tonight, it is just too much for all of us take sometimes but we know the sun will set tonight and rise again tomorrow.

Normally, I LOVE my work but this week has been a rough one, we lost one client, gained one, all the sales reps are doing what they need to be doing but ME... I am trying my hardest to be "into" it but I am TIRED this week and of course like all of you, I am my worst enemy.

IF it is nice this weekend, my daughter and I will be at the beach, the place melanoma victims are susposed to go right??? I am over the STAY out of the sun mode and enjoy it with hats, 50 SPF every hour, ask my daughter, she even knows how to cover up my whole back of scars from surgery.

We went shopping together yesterday for shoes being that we are both in my sisters wedding next month in New York, she told me that I had to get something new too, what a gal... So I got a shirt that showed some of my scarring artwork on my back which I don't do except in a bathing suit and I said but it shows my scars and what does my little Reyla tell me, who cares who sees them, I don't mind them, I love you mommy. So of course I am crying now remembering the memory of yesterday, big whimp that I am. Actually I have been very strong lately, most certain due to Reyla coming back from her grandparents "camp Blair" a few weeks ago and MY wonderful ten day trip to the Virgin Islands where I did whatever I wanted, some days were busy boating with friends and showing my local friends new spots and others were renting movies like locals or reading books under a palm tree, TAKE ME BACK there now...

So, I need to get going with work, Reyla has to be picked up at 2:35 on Friday's at her new school which we are all very blessed for her to have gotten in and us still being able to afford it.

Today - all of us that need that extra push to do something, take my advice as I am going to right now, GET in the shower... wipe off the tears and pretend again that you don't have ANYTHING wrong with you, that you are JUST like everyone else... shh... it can be our secret if we don't want anyone to know we have cancer.

All my best,

Rina